Koobazaur's Domain

A geek forever bound to a laptop, I spent two weeks taking care of kids, surrounded by pastoral plains, cows and forests. Part of my nomadic journey I have not yet fully made sense of.

Missed the first Part? Start Here or read the Previous Part!

Beautifully Expensive

Despite the mess-up of scheduling my bus departure so early none of the public transit was running yet, I somehow managed to get to the bus towards a new country, where no one checked my passport. Quaint tilted roofs and historic clock towers on the backdrop of snowy mountains; bustling yet perfectly clean streets proudly displaying countless Swiss flags. This was Zurich.

Oh my god, can I please live here?

And then… I looked at the prices. Three francs (little over three Euro) for a bottle of water? A simple Burger King meal costing almost twenty? Dear lord… I always heard Zurich was expensive but did not expect as much. Nonetheless, the focus on quality and social welfare was apparent. I would further confirm this on my last day in Switzerland, returning to explore more of the idyllic clockwork town before departing to Vienna.

But this time, the time was short. I boarded my trains and rode off into the boundless green-yellow fields…

A warm welcome by my new temporary family

My new WorkAway hosts picked me at the Stammheim and we went off to pick up the kid’s from the “kindi.”

(For those in the dark, WorkAway.info is a crowd-sourced website where one can trade their time and work in exchange for housing and food. No money is exchanged. It’s a great way to travel and “live” in a new culture, having all your necessities covered)

We arrived at a small lake, where Sam the dad began stroking the fire while Mischa the mom unpacked the foods and yelled at the kids. With freshly grilled sausages on generous hunks of bread and bottles of locally brewed beer, I quickly grew comfortable with the new family. The next two weeks were not looking so bad.

A tech nerd taking care of kids in a quaint village on the edge of civilization. Let’s do this!

Alone with the Kids

I was surprised that the very next day the family already left me all alone with Koa, their 4-year old son. Granted, I am a Superbly Awesome Person™, but the sudden level of trust felt unwarranted. “With our hectic lives, you just have to take the chance” Mischa would explain to me days later. Trust, as I was beginning to realize, was another difference between Europe and the US. Somehow, on this continent, you just don’t expect to have your kidney jacked at night quite as often.

After a bit of morning play, we made out to the nearby playground, or “Spielplatz” as the kids called it. We sat in the pipe under the slides chatting about life and played on the swings before returning home, where the little boy helped me make his little tea. Soon enough, the year older Awa returned from kindergarten and I cooked up a lunch, serving hefty portions of vegetables the kids gulped down eagerly.

Over the next few days, I would play house and tiger, tell stories, deliver Santa’s gifts as Schmutzli, build pillow forts, and walk to the playground. I was impressed by the kids’ level-headed upbringing: they knew to put on the helmet to ride their “velo,” always looked before crossing the road, and proved excellent navigators. Sometimes, they’d break into crying hissy fits simply for taking a metal rod out of their hands. They would remain obedient the whole day just to earn a small piece of sugar-free chocolate before bed, yet brushing their teeth was an inhuman upheaval. One day they scoff at my offer of a banana, the next ask me to help them peel one. If grown up, the day-to-day mood and interest changes would quickly put them on a DSM diagnosis for bipolar psychopaths. And then, they would draw you an adorable picture with your name on it, and none of the hassles mattered anymore…

It is true what they say, children are fascinating. I was learning from them as much as they learned from me. One time, I decided to only speak Polish. I circulated the playground as they began to follow me, confusingly asking questions which answers they could not understand. Eventually, they gave up and returned to playing, but it was intriguing to see how much my incomprehensible behavior drew them in, and how little I had to do to really garner their attention. (And I it inspired a new game idea I am now developing!)

I also taught Koa a valuable lesson on overcoming personal limitations. He wanted to bring back a rock from the playground but cried it was too heavy. He had to choose between carrying the burden of his desire or leaving it behind. In the end, whining incessantly, he managed to bring the rock home and set it in the garden as a trophy of his achievement.

It was then that I began to realize – crap, I might actually be somewhat good at taking care of kids.

Appreciating “family” life

Over two weeks, I became a peculiar element of my new foster home, something more than just a nanny but not quite a full fledged family member either.

I grew to appreciate our morning pre-work ritual when Mischa and Sam made our frothy coffees while yelling at the kids to finish their muesli. I particularly enjoyed chatting with Sam about the world economy and equality, Swiss crime and Politics, the Illuminati, and even World War 2 experiences of our elders. With Mischa, we spent long evenings stroking the furnace and drinking wine, connecting over our mutual business upheavals and placenta stories.

Watching everyone’s morning rituals and daily routines I realized I lacked one; each day always an uncertain flux.

I also enjoyed the small family trips with kids: walking into the forests to hear Sam’s tales of Wilhelm Tell, touring the cobbled streets and stereotypical slanted-roof houses of Stamm am Rhein, or stopping for hot chocolate and raindrops lazily zigzagging on the glass. Being just 20 minutes from the border, we also stopped by Germany to restock on groceries which are much cheaper there. And occasionally, we would go to their restaurant, Schloss Schwandegg, where I could catch up on work while tasting Sam’s amazing cooking skills.

Wanting to pay back, I cooked up Polish tomato soup with a whole chicken, which the kids loved (although that might have just been the copious amounts of cream they put in). Conversely, my Polish bigos (cabbage and sausage stew) was far less popular with the tiny mouths, but was reused by the parents in various clever Swiss ways.

On my last night, the family treated me to a classically Swiss fondue dinner with friends, chatting about drugs, fire shows and the Swiss cooperative business model.

Appreciating leisure time

Our workaway “deal” loosely stated taking care of the kids for five hours a day, with two days off per week. This left a lot of free time I had to find ways to fill, somehow.

Being in the middle of idyllic countryside, I went for walks. A lot of walks.

I introspected about my existential desires and social connections on a somber walk in the forest. I was overpowered by the scent of mile-long block of freshly planted flowers. I climbed the foothills for a beautiful vista of endless green-and-yellow patchwork with clouds drawing distinct shadows and little toy cars speeding across gray line. Quintessential Quaintness.

Yet another time, I went on an amazing bike ride across seemingly infinite rural roads surrounded by nothing, with just a little town in the far distance as the goal. A meager picture simply cannot capture how reinvigorating it felt. Except the one time my chain fell off and got jammed, resulting in a lone walk home as I passed the time singing to myself in Polish.

I also learned how to start a fire and keep the furnace hot without poisoning everyone in the house!

The two weeks definitely made me understand and appreciate countryside depicted in movies or literature, something I dully glossed over. Now, when I watch the saturated greens of Miyazaki’s movies, I recognize the oddly wavering horizontal patches. I know what being there “feels” like. It is a whole different experience now.

Return to Geekdom

After just the first week of idyllic isolation, I pleasantly began having urges to jump back into gaming. For the first time in some two years, I was able to sink seven hours straight into playing a game without constant distractions of work guilt or ennui. Perhaps just a coincidence, perhaps a sign I was starting to re-learn how to enjoy myself.

Likewise, I felt increasingly motivated to work on game development. I pondered new designs as I walked across the vast stretches, and got an inspiration for my next small project observing the kids play and follow me curiously.

The aforementioned introspective walk in the forest proved somewhat counter-intuitive, making me realize how the infinite diversity and beauty of natural simply did not strike my curiosity nearly as much as human creations. I was far more of a social creature than I previously thought. Perhaps there was nothing wrong with craving validation? But these thoughts are a story for another blog post.

Lastly, it’s also worth remebering I returned to morning yoga after a year long hiatus. This time, I genuinely enjoyed the feeling of stretching my body and holding poses, noting how my strength varied day to day. I felt refreshed after, not exasperated.

And yet…

But where’s the closure?

I wish I could say my temporary pastoral exile was a life-changing experience like you would expect from a good story.

After two weeks, I merely began to imagine what detachment from my old life could really mean. Most days, I still struggled to feel accomplished with work and deserving of relaxation after. I was still plagued by the same anxieties and compulsions, workaholic yet lazy, consumed by my own consumption. I didn’t start to understand my place in the new “family” until the very end.

While I gained many new perspectives and ideas, I never fully found myself in the new lifestyle. I wish I could have stayed longer. The stereotypically expected transformation never finished.

Nonetheless, the experience was undeniably a positive one, opening up new mental gates and existential ideas for me to ponder.

Retrologue

This post’s purpose is to outline and highlight the key memories and thoughts of the past two weeks, a way to mentally organize my experience rather than go in-depth. I hope to elaborate on several things in other posts, if only to help myself process what the atypical time really meant.

Or perhaps I will forget about it and let the ideas shrivel up and fade away as I return to my old former patterns…